The air conditionings reverberation and dim lights in our living room is the ambiance of silence and time. Silent enough for my happiness to linger and move my fingers on keys with letters and numbers. Thoughts pour out during these hours; time; time to create, think, read without redirecting full attention someplace of more value. Sweet Time, Me Time, is when our entire home is in slumber.
4 a.m. is when my alarm automatically chimes; “Janelle Nicole” is displayed on my phone’s screen. It is currently 5:09 a.m. and thus far, my time was spent outside admiring ducks sitting next to and within rivers, stars shinning above as lesser and greater, ushering in thoughts of the hymn “Follow The Drinking Gourd,” drafting a pitch for Reckon Women, researching and reading biographies and controversial information.
It is now 5:17 a.m. and my alarm went off again, this time displaying “Yah’s Time.” I am signing off now to read, meditate, pray and prepare my day. Have a. . .
Create a beautiful day.
Grand Rising, and Good Mourning; realize which comes latter and initially. Supposedly it is 11 February, 4:58 a.m.; however, time is another zone depending on where you go (as of late I have been watching the Twilight Zone).
I read a couple verses in The Book of Esther, the first chapter, and I see My Loves meaning of terrible and turbulent times coming. Scripture speaks of nations warring against the chosen, Hebrew, Jew, children of Yashar’el, so-called african’s scattered throughout the four corners of the earth. Every nation is rising and will rise against Yahuah’s people. Please read Scripture, we began beginning to end.
I must be, get, and maintain focus.
Focus is directly what is in front of me. Peripherals show me most of what else I need to see. . . as well as discernment within spiritual eyes. . .
I am on a journey, a lifestyle, a battling and warring of self. And my hand is on righteousness to win. Not going right (or left) due to habit, expectation and convenience. Praying and seeking for Abba Yah’s continued mercy as time is given for me, us, to be taught and learn laws and what is wrong.
Yesterday I briefly read about commonly confused words. Mistakeably interchanged words, such as, illusion and allusion. Are the allusions of God causing illusions or distorted truths or distractions for people? For instance, I believe everything is what it is to be in the time it is there — all events and interactions occur for a reason; or else why would it? With that being said, every part of my journey throughout being Catholic, Christian, universal, self-love, empress, self-love, and now obeying the Elohiym of Avram, Yitschaq, and Ya’aqov in Old Testament, has gotten me through and restored me in appointed times, as my husband wisely suggests.
By no means do I have it all together, but “You must learn to join the dance, even if you [do not] know all the steps.”
This “me time” this early has blessed with me with hope and strength to continue keeping on in my relationship with Yahuah, my health, my family, and my due diligence.
Me time is sacred time, because while the house is still I begin the day trying to hear Yahuah’s voice. Being still to give thanks and begin. . . again.
Also, there is rejuvenation and a need in using moments in my 24 hour clock to pour into myself. And that is okay, it does not take me away from daughter, wife, mommy or any in anyway. . . I am realizing, as my therapist and Black Love YouTube channel says, this time will bring me closer.
This time.
This time that I carve out for self. When I remove myself from everyone else, and say yes to me.
This time is sacred time for
Janelle Nicole.
P.S. It is now 5:26 a.m. on 18 February, and I am exhausted. For the past three days I have been going to bed late due to a variety of elements. Mainly, our Zion’ah has woken up and remained up. The other night our child woke up at 2:30 a.m. and was rolling around the bed smiling and laughing! She didn’t go back to sleep til close to 4:00 a.m.. I understand she is teething, but getting knocked in the face by her foot powered by her thunder-thighs is not a fun feat. Needless to say, I haven’t mustered up the strength to get up (for Yah, for myself, for my family) the past few mornings. . . my alarm has been going off and I’ve straight up been hitting the snooze button. And trust, I hit it again this morning until I realized and remembered there are days I am going to be tired, but I must push through. As I told my instructor, Javacia Harris Bowser, I’m a push through like a bench press! Word.
Because again, this Me Time is sacred time on so many levels; yes, I can carve out Me Time whenever, for instance, I have an appointment with my therapist this evening. However, first time in the morning when the world and my world is still, my focus is free. I give thanks that I no longer feel guilty spending time with and for me — alone.
Bless up, Loves! ❤
Janelle Poetic Puff Graham 