Breaks Almost Break Me

As an educator I am given additional time off when holidays come around. Although I do not celebrate holidays, I take advantage of the weeks accompanying these days of celebration.

For Thanksgiving, public schools received an entire week off and trust and believe I was aaaaaallllllllLLLLLLLL up in Zion’ah’s face! Every. Single. Day.

And my daughter loved it.

We bonded so much. There were moments my husband asked if I wanted a breather and I immediately chimed, “No. I got her.”

I showered Zion’ah in kisses each moment of everyday and now that she graces 5 months of age, she is grabbing for my face and bringing me in for a kiss; she is learning to sit up and lift her head to engulf my chin and cheeks in slobber.

For an entire week I was melting, turned completely moldable in my daughters hands. I didn’t get anything accomplished I set out to do during the week long break because I didn’t want to be anywhere but in the view of my child.

My husband video called me the first couple days I returned back during my lunch and it made me so happy that Zi could recognize her mommy over the phone.

In all honesty, I didn’t want to return to school.

But I did.

I am truly thankful and we are blessed because Terrence and I have a work schedule that allows us to alternate times of being with her. With me working during the day and My Love working at night we’re able to be present throughout her growth and milestones. Thank Yah.

However, I still imagine what an awesome opportunity it would be to be with her 25/8. I love my job, my students have always grown to be my children. . . but I just don’t feel the same passion in the classroom anymore now that I have a daughter. It’s different. And every extended break, I break more and more from the idea that there is a need in leaving my daughters side.

Christmas break is getting ready to approach and I am, of course, going to enjoy every moment with my little one. We’ll have two weeks! But I am also going to balance my time and work. This duality is crucial and attainable. Just as the sun is able to shine on smiles, they both can and do provide light at the same time.

Published by ourfirstfamilyphoto

The breeze makes me happy, leaves make me smile. And I am now a part of nature, I've brought forth life.

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