Every moment as a mom isn’t filled with wide smiles and belly aching laughter. And I’ve come to terms that it’s okay to not always smile. Zion’ah, thankfully, isn’t a baby that cries just because. However, she does cry when she doesn’t get what she wants. Her tears become overwhelming when I hold her and she wants to be rocked, or I rock her and she wants to be swayed, or I sway her and she wants to be bounced, or I bounce her and she wants me to walk, or I walk her and she wants to be fed, or I feed her and she has a difficult latch. It can be tough. It is tough. And sometimes I have to put her down, sit back and take a breath. With my breath, I reflect. This is my child, she is an infant, I love her, be patient. After this, do I feel the need to smile? No. But the grounding of my love for her brings to surface a smirk.